The Affirmative Consent Standard - You Must Receive a Verbal "Yes"
You Must Make Sure You Have Your Partner's Verbal Consent Before Pursuing Any Sex Act
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You Must Make Sure You Have Your Partner's Verbal Consent Before Pursuing Any Sex Act
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Watch this 4-minute video clip on the Affirmative Consent Standard
Presentation by Dr. Harry Brod, a leader in the pro-feminist men's movement
Video: Click here to watch full 38-minute presentation
on the Affirmative Consent Standard by Dr. Harry Brod
- The Affirmative Consent Standard states that the person who initiates sexual contact must receive a VERBAL YES (affirmative consent) from the other person before engaging in any sexual activity -- and that consent must be ongoing throughout the sexual encounter.
- The Affirmative Consent Standard makes it clear that it is the responsibility of the person who initiates sexual contact to make sure they have the VERBAL CONSENT of the other person -- instead of the current situation, where people put assume it's the responsibility of the woman to "say no" -- instead, the Affirmative Consent Standard says it's the man's responsibility to "get a verbal yes."
- The Affirmative Consent Standard reduces ambiguity in sexual situations, by making it clear that the initiator of sexual contact must receive a "verbal yes" from the other person.
- Currently, many men assume if a woman "does not say no" then that means "yes" or interpret "silence/saying nothing" as a "yes" -- this ambiguity can lead to rape/sexual assault.
- Under the Affirmative Consent Standard, silence is NOT a "yes."
- Under the Affirmative Consent Standard, the absence of a no is NOT a "yes."
- Under the Affirmative Consent Standard, the only "yes" is a "yes."
- Under the Affirmative Consent Standard, a drunk woman cannot consent to sex, because her judgment is incapacitated by alcohol.
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The term "Affirmative Consent" refines the definition of consent from “not saying no to sex” to “saying yes to the sex with words or clearly enthusiastic actions.” This is necessary not to harshly punish people caught in seemingly ambiguous situations, but rather to prevent these situations from being as ambiguous in the first place.
Affirmative Consent rejects the "gatekeeper” model of sexual consent, where one partner, usually a woman, rejects sex repeatedly before finally “giving in,” a model normalizes sex after one party says no repeatedly. It sets the requirement of clear communication up front, and it puts the onus on someone pursuing sex to receive clear communication that their advances are wanted rather than only requiring them to stop if they get a signal it isn’t. It requires and encourages equal agency for both partners.
https://mail.google.com/mail/?shva=1#inbox/13c840b1b09335d1
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- The "Affirmative Consent Standard" refers to the idea that sexual consent can never be assumed.
- Whoever initiates sex has the responsibility to ask for and receive a verbal "yes" (you must get verbal consent) from your sexual partner before pursuing any level of sexual contact.
- Requires verbal consent for each and every sexual act you would like to pursue with your partner.
- If you're not 100% sure that you have your partner's consent to sex, then you DON'T HAVE THEIR CONSENT. SO AS
- You must make sure you have your partner's consent by ASKING THEM for a verbal "Yes"
- It's very dangerous (and can lead to rape) to assume silence is a "Yes" -- silence is often wrongly interpreted as a "Yes"
- If you do not have a "verbal yes" from your partner, then you don't have their consent to sex.
- The Affirmative Consent Standard creates an atmosphere of safety, where your partner knows that nothing will happen that he/she doesn't want to happen -- what could be sexier than making your partner feel safe to explore their sexuality in this zone of safety?
- For those who might say this is "too much" or might "spoil the mood" -- ask yourself:
Why would you NOT want to know for sure that you have the consent of your partner before having sex with them?
Click here for more great information on why getting clear consent to sex or any sexual act is important.
In a nutshell, consent is an agreement – it’s someone giving permission. Consent is a ‘Yes’. More than that, consent is a freely given, enthusiastic yes. I can tell you what consent is not, and it’s NOT – the absence of a no, a begrudging yes, silence, or a no that ‘wasn’t said often or loud enough’. Quite simply… If it’s not perfectly 100% clear that the other person has given consent – they haven’t. No buts or ifs, it’s that simple. If you don’t have a yes, you don’t have Consent. Further, just because you have consent for one thing doesn’t mean you have consent for anything else. For example, you and I might be on a date – I’m looking hot, you’re looking hot, we’re both having a great time being hot together and I might give you consent to kiss me. In fact I might even give consent for a bit of cuddling and necking. But unless I make it obvious that I want to go further, you don’t have consent to go further with me. Let me say it again – just because I’m kissing you or more, doesn’t mean I give consent to have sex with you, or go bungee jumping with you, or have you pick my nose. And if you don’t have consent to have sex with me but try or force me anyway – that’s sexual assault at best, rape at worst. Nobody wants to be a rapist. |
"The Ethics & Erotics of Sexual Consent" (The Affirmative Consent Standard)
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by Dr. Harry Brod
The line between sexual consent and sexual coercion/rape is not always as clear as it seems -- and according to Dr. Harry Brod, this is exactly why we should approach our sexual interactions with great care.
Dr. Brod, a professor of philosophy and leader in the pro-feminist men's movement, offers a unique take on the problem of sexual assault -- that sexual consent must always be explicitly granted -- never simply assumed.
This eye-opening discussion explores the meanings of "yes" and "no" -- the ambiguity and danger of silence often wrongly being misinterpreted as a "yes" -- to the way alcohol affects our ethical responsibilities.
Dr. Brod challenges young people to envision a model of sexual interaction that is most erotic precisely when it is most thoughtful and empathetic, by focusing on creating and maintaining an atmosphere of safety. Ideal for classes in gender studies, communication, and sociology, and especially useful for extracurricular programs and workshops. Dr. Harry Brod is Professor of Philosophy and Humanities at the University of Northern Iowa.
You have the right to say "NO" to sex AT ANY TIME - You Don't Owe Anyone Sex
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- You have the right to say NO - even if you're naked. You should NOT blame yourself for "leading the guy on" or "being a tease"
- You should NEVER feel obligated to have sex for any reason, such as because you invited a guy into your room, he paid for dinner, etc.
Alcohol is the #1 Date Rape Drug - You CAN'T CONSENT to sex if you're drunk
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- While many women are on the alert to make sure no one slips a date rape drug into their drink (rohypnol, GBH, etc), the reality is that ALCOHOL ITSELF is the #1 date rape drug.
- You can't consent to sex if you've been drinking, and you can't make good decisions if you've been drinking alcohol.
- If a man has sex with a woman who's drunk, that's RAPE, because a drunk woman is not able to give consent to sex.
- It's part of rape culture for society to teach men it's OK to try to give a woman alcohol and buy her a lot of drinks to cloud her judgment -- when a man plies a woman with alcohol and tries to get her drunk so he can have sex with her -- this is a man PLANNING A RAPE.
Rape Awareness Video - The Right to Say NO
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Kristen Stewart Rape Awareness Video - Part 1 of 3
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Click here or the photo below to watch Part 2 of 3
When the link pops up, scroll down to watch the video |
Click here or the photo below to watch Part 3 of 3 When the link pops up, scroll down to watch the video |
Men must start a conversation with other men about date rape
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When men see a friend or buddy deliberately trying to get a woman drunk by pushing her to consume drink after drink at a party or a bar, instead of congratulating the male friend on "scoring" and "getting laid" -- men should directly confront their friend right away with the fact that their buddy is actually planning a RAPE - he was planning to commit a crime, and if their friend has sex with a drunk woman, that is RAPE.
Men Can Stop Rape - Anti-Sexual Assault Organization
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Mission
To mobilize men to use their strength for creating cultures free from violence, especially men's violence against women.
Vision
To institutionalize primary prevention of men’s violence against women through sustained initiatives that generate positive, measurable outcomes in populations throughout the world.
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Mission
To mobilize men to use their strength for creating cultures free from violence, especially men's violence against women.
Vision
To institutionalize primary prevention of men’s violence against women through sustained initiatives that generate positive, measurable outcomes in populations throughout the world.
Watch the video below !